Bear with me, I get "philosophical," haha

So I keep telling myself "I'm fixing my sleep schedule TODAY" and then suddenly it's 5 AM and I'm sleeping in too late for it to be worth it to go to class, haha. I still went to campus to meet Marshall and Jessica, though, and finished off a bottle of Riesling while swapping summer stories and seeing their places for next year (for the record, I already saw Jessica's yesterday and it is friggin' gorgeous). Then I went to Urban for a bit and there was a miraculous cardigan sale or something because I snagged two cute ones for $5 apiece (somewhere across the Pacific, my Asian mother did a celebratory dance and didn't know why). Vicki picked me up, and despite my slicing my finger open on her door, we had a great R4L date over happy hour sushi at Kyoto and gelato at Paciugo. Back on campus, Jessica and I talked for a bit (made plans to go dress-shopping tomorrow, yay!) and now I'm home watching old episodes of Grey's while eating a fresh fruit salad made of Central Market pineapple and strawberries, and Kristin's peaches from Waco or wherever, haha. Maybe it sounds mundane, but today has been another wonderful day in a series of many.

It's strange, I keep complaining about how boring it is being "stuck" at home due to Chinese Buddhist funerary customs, but I'm still managing to have a great time. Sometimes, I think I've got my life all figured out, and other times, I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing. I think, though, that either way, I'm fine with it. I'm at a place in my life where no matter what I *~think~* my plans are, I'm at peace, and I feel like I've found where I belong. Maybe I don't know where "where I belong" is in so many words, but I know I'm there. Maybe it sounds cheesy, but just this past year alone has been so incredibly transformative for me. A year ago, I was obsessing over how to arrange the furniture at my new house, in my new room; the impending two-year anniversary with the boyfriend; putting off thinking about the MCAT and med school. I hadn't met any new people, gone anywhere new, done anything real with my life.

Now, it's not even a year later but my life is so drastically different. Maybe not in terms of what I'm studying, or where I'm living, or even really the people in it, but the experiences I've had, the things I've learned, the relationships I've built... I'd never been to Europe before, and this year, I was lucky enough to go for both Spring Break and half of the summer, and explore five amazing new countries with amazing friends, both new and old. I've made old relationships stronger, and forged new ones with incredible potential that I can't wait to see how they develop. I'm planning my senior thesis and graduating in a year, then taking a year off afterward in hopes of getting some medical experience before applying for med schools the following year. Good thing I was a rockstar at my interview yesterday, and got a position as a clinical assistant with Seton at the Shoal Creek Hospital! I'm lucky enough to have the privelege of visiting the east cost for the second time in three months, this time to New York to see a great friend I made in the Netherlands, and I turn 21 at midnight the day I get back.

Maybe all that sounds like I'm bragging, but goddammit, my blog, my soapbox, haha. That's not it, though. I think this is more of an affirmation to myself than a declaration to the ether of the blogosphere at large or whatever. For the first time, I'm living my life for my own sake, making my own happiness and not taking "no" for an answer from life. God knows my life's not perfect, far from it: I still freak out about school and don't think my GPA is good enough for med school, I didn't think I'd still be single this long after the break-up, family life is still rough and sometimes unbearable, and my grandfather - the only one I ever knew - just passed away and my entire family is in Taiwan while I'm alone in Texas. But that's life. Life gets hard, and no amount of whining makes it better. But recognizing how much potential life still holds and making the most of it; that's not better, that's incredible.